Did you know that suicide is the leading cause of death in men aged between 15-44 and that of all suicides in Australia 76% of them were men? At least 1 in 5 men will experience an anxiety disorder and 1 in 8 will suffer from depression, these however are the ones that have been diagnosed so the numbers are most probably much higher.

I’m writing this blog with a heavy heart as I have personally known 3 men who have taken their own lives this year. In my clinic, 2 out of 5 clients who come to see me for depression and anxiety are men.

November is the month when we see many men of all ages sprouting moustaches to show their support for the Movember movement. Movember is a global movement committed to changing the face of men’s health and raising awareness.

We are all aware of the dreadful passing of Robin Williams earlier this year and what that made this really hard for many people was that they saw someone who they perceived as having everything to live for. The question they asked was “if he has had enough then what hope do I have”. The one positive thing to come out of this was that people took to the internet, wrote blogs, posted on Facebook and articles appeared in magazines and newspapers about mental illness and the stigma associated with it. I started to feel that something had shifted and that for once we were starting to talk about it.

Whilst writing this article I asked my son a question. “If you had problems with anxiety, or you felt really bad about something, or had an extreme fear or phobia would you talk to you friends or your work buddies about it.” His response was a resounding “no”. He said that they would see him as weak and that there was no way he would make himself vulnerable to the possibility of a negative response. My son is only 16 and is very open and comfortable talking about any subject at home but when it comes to mental health and the touchy feely subjects like emotions and feeling it’s still a no go zone for many guys. That response threw me a bit as I know that his generation are much more in touch with their feelings and emotions than their father’s generation was. Its easier for him to connect with his feelings and open up but only if its deemed safe.

In my article last year I talked about the fact that there are many reasons men typically don’t ask for help. Certainly the views and ideals from previous generations, “boys don’t cry”, “toughen up, be a man” still has an impact today and although things are slowly changing, it is slow. Another reason is a lack of awareness. Awareness that they are actually suffering from a mental illness and awareness that help is actually available to them. However the associated stigma to any kind of “”mental health” problem stops many of them from asking for help and definitely stops them from talking about it. Movements like Movember and organisations like Headspace and Beyond Blue are slowly changing this but many men continue to suffer in silence and tragically some will take their own lives.

So what can you do about this? If you are suffering or know of someone who is,

Here are 10 tips and ideas to help you take the first step.

  1. Talk – The first step is to talk to someone, friend, colleague, partner, anyone about what’s going on, and how you feel.
  2. Get help – I can’t emphasise this enough, you don’t have to do this on your own.  Seek out professional help – GP, Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, Social Worker just get started but find someone you are comfortable with and trust
  3. Eat healthily– the food you eat effects your mood so if you live on a fast food diet it will have a negative effect on the way you feel. A balanced diet will ensure you have all the nutrients to ensure your brain functions at its best.
  4. Move, walk, stand – we are not meant to be sedentary and so much research now is suggesting that the longer you spend on that coach the shorter your life. Exercise can improve both your physical and mental wellbeing. It doesn’t have to be a workout at the gym, a short walk around the block will instantly improve your mood.
  5. Relax – find a way to calm your mind – 10 minute is all you need and then notice the effect on both your mind and body. My 10 min relax and rejuvenate MP3 download is available free to download, click here and enjoy.
  6. Change the focus from you – give someone a compliment, do a random act of kindness, help someone in need then notice how you feel.
  7. Quality sleep – if you are able to engage in the 6 steps above you will find your sleep improves. For information on sleep hygiene and help with sleep problems contact me here
  8. Go easy on alcohol and drugs – Both can be a trigger for moving deeper into that void and can cause anxiety, panic attacks, depression, amplify fears and phobias right through to psychosis and paranoia.
  9. Find a purpose – set some small goals, just tiny steps to help you move forweard. It can be motivating and help build self confidence just knowing that you are taking some small steps towards a better life.  Contact me for information on this and the Life Wheel tool to help you get started.
  10. Find an Interest – something that enables you to learn, to engage, to socialise, to connect. Could be an art class, learning a musical instrument, a new language, working with wood or metal, planting a garden – try anything that interests you and you may just surprise yourself.

If you are already doing all of the above then great but recognise that the above will only help you to better manage your anxieties, not fix them. In order to protect you from the feelings and negative emotions attached to a trigger your subconscious mind masks or suppresses these emotions. You do this by using certain behaviours such as withdrawing, getting angry, seeking out a relief behaviour such as alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc because it makes you feel better in that moment. However none of these strategies work long term and the triggers come back again and again. This is why therapy is so important to your recovery as you cannot change what you don’t understand. Contact me here for more information.

A final note to all mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, partners, workmates and friends – look out for the guys in your life.

  • Be aware, notice any changes in the way they act, talk, connect.
  • Is something different, are they withdrawn, disconnected?
  • Your awareness may just save a life.